eye looking overcoming fear

Overcoming Fear: Do You Let The Fear Take The Wheel And Steer?

The first step to overcoming fear…is realizing that fear is what is holding you back.

“Sometimes, I feel the fear of
Uncertainty stinging clear

And I can’t help but ask myself
How much I let the fear take the wheel and steer

[…]

It’s driven me before
And it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around
But lately I’m beginning to find that
When I drive myself my light is found.”

Drive, by Incubus

When you are faced with tough decisions, how do you decide which path to take?

Do you move towards your goals and dreams (things you want) – or do you  shy away from the chance of failure (fear).

I’ve been thinking a lot about dreams and fear these past few days, based on some of the results in the personal development reader survey.

One of the biggest things I learned was that fear of failure is a widespread concern that holds many people back.

The main question I got was:  How can you overcome fear of failure – and make sure that fear doesn’t drive you away from your dreams?

Here are are a few strategies that have always helped me in overcoming fear of failure and uncertainty – at least a little =)

Tip#1 for Overcoming Fear:
Define Your Worst Case Scenario

“Most people will choose unhappiness over uncertainty.”

Tim Ferriss

If you don’t know what your worst case is, then of course you’ll fear it – we all fear the unknown.

So try this:

Sit down, write down exactly what would happen – and how you would recover.

Once you know what the worst case is, you can plan for how you would come back from it. And once you have an idea of the worst case, and how you’d come back – perhaps overcoming fear and failure won’t look as scary as not knowing.

Give Yourself a Cushion

Some people work better with their backs against the wall – but for others, being in a situation where failure is not an option may not motivate them – and worse, the additional stress may cause them to underperform.

I know for myself, I like to have a cushion, and a set time frame to try things out – knowing that even if I fail, I’ve given myself a little bit of a financial savings (for example) to fall back on.

That might mean setting aside some money, or it might mean speaking with your friends and family and securing their emotional support before you act.

Consider The Cost of Not Acting

Sometimes we’re afraid to act because we don’t want to lose what we already have – but what will you lose out on by not taking action?

Will the opportunity be there again – or is it only here for today?

Are you happy with the way things are – and if you don’t act, are you content with continuing with things the way they are, or are you just tolerating them? I’m not implying anything – you’ve got to decide for yourself.

Sometimes facing up to the reality of the situation makes overcoming fear, trying and failing less intimidating, knowing that not trying is not a perfect solution either.

Talk It Out

Sometimes when we’re afraid, we compound that fear by feeling lonely in our decision.

Oftentimes, just talking it out with someone you trust, and knowing that you have their support will help give you the courage and strength you need to overcome your fear and take action.

Build On Small Successes as You Work On Overcoming Fear

Long term, the biggest way to overcome your fear of failure is just by facing smaller fears, and building up an internal well of courage and assuredness within your self.

That doesn’t mean the fear of failure will go away – but remembering the small victories you’ve already accomplished can help you push yourself to make the tough decisions to push forward on your dreams.

The last strategy I mention above, building on small successes,  reminds me of one of my favorite stories, one that I had posted up on my mirror for a long time – and a lesson that I remind myself of often:

The Two Wolves

A Cherokee elder was teaching his grandchildren about life.

He said to them,

“A fight is going on inside me… it is a terrible fight between two wolves.

One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, hatefulness, and lies.

The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, humbleness, kindness, friendship, generosity, faith, and truth.

This same fight is going on inside of you, and inside every other person, too.”

The children thought about it for a minute. Then one child asked his grandfather,

“Which wolf will win?”

The Cherokee elder replied…

“The one you feed.”

Further Reading