Train the elephant while he is young, for he will never forget. At least, that’s how this story goes that I heard in India.
When an elephant is very young and small, their trainer ties them to a tree with a thick rope.
The baby elephant struggles and struggles – but is not strong enough.
Soon the elephant learns that his strength is no match for the rope.
He accepts his fate, gives up – and gets used to the idea that this rope can hold him.
As the elephant grows, even a simple string is enough to hold him without resistance. He dares not struggle, remembering the rope that he could not break many years ago.
Though the string has no chance of holding the elephant, he does not realize that: he has convinced himself that it is stronger than him, and he never even tries.
For many people, the failure from past events is what they remember. The memory of weakness, of not being strong enough stops them from even attempting to overcome challenges in their lives, even though their strength is much stronger now.
They never forget – and just like the elephant who will not try to break the string, they shy away from challenges in their lives that they could overcome – if they would only try.
* Note: I’ve been trying to research whether this is true or not, but so far I cannot. I still wanted to share this story with you for the metaphor.
Held Back By Your Own Past
Many readers and clients tell me they feel they are not strong enough, that they are not up to the challenges they face in their lives.
But the truth is, they have never learned how to tap their strength
They are still tied down by the restraints that their last selves had.
10 years ago they couldn’t do something.
Or last year someone told them they weren’t good enough.
Or perhaps they truly believed in themselves, and they tried…and they failed.
And they have held into that.
They have let that past experience, that past discouragement, that past temporarily failure hold them back.
Perhaps in your life you’ve experienced the same thing.
But it does not have to be that way – and there is a better lesson you can take away from your past difficulties.
Gaining Strength from Your Past
On a recent summer morning in Victoria, BC I came upon a stained glass window with this saying. I have shared this with my clients – and it will forever change how you see your previous difficulties in life:
“The virtue of adversity is fortitude.”
Francis Bacon
If you hit a roadblock in the past that’s not who you are today.
And in fact, you are not weaker or more frail for the experience.
You are better for it.
The mentally strongest, the greatest competitors – none of them gained that edge because they always succeeded on the first try.
The edge comes from continuing on in spite of that initial failure, in spite of hitting the wall and in spite of the fact that so many others choose to walk away
Do not let your past shackle you with false beliefs about your limits.
Regardless of the challenges you faced in the past, regardless of whether you were not able to overcome them at the time – you’ve made it this far, and you are stronger for it.
Let your past strengthen you with the knowledge of the difficulties that you have faced in your life.
Do not be held back by the shackles of the past.
Instead, embrace the strength you have gained from your efforts. Embrace the fact that you tried. Embrace the opportunity to try again – better, stronger and more mentally prepared.
Remember “The virtue of adversity is fortitude.”