Girl by Water Dock Thinking About Changing Her Life

How To Change Yourself: My Secret For Personal Growth and Change

We know that throughout our lives we will come across opportunities disguised as challenges, and often these are opportunities to change ourselves.

Today, I am going to show you the exact process I use to make better decisions which is what you must do if you want to learn how to change yourself.

These four questions have profoundly impacted my life and those of my clients when faced with a major crossroads.

 You may be standing at a deciding point in your life as well – and I know this guidance will help you make the most out of the precious moments of your life.

The First Question: Do You Want To?

More important than anything else is considering what you actually want in your life – and comparing it to the expected end result of a particular project.

If this is not something you desire, then why are you doing it?

 For this reason, before I spend my time on anything, I ask myself:

“Do you want to make this change?”

Some of the things to consider when I am asking myself this question are:

  • Is this the direction I want my life to go?
  • Are the activities involved the way I want to spend my time?
  • Are the end results consequences I desire?

Without these, you will have a lot of trouble deciding how to change yourself.

The Second Question:  Can You?

Before embarking on a serious life change, it has to be something I truly believe I can do – or I’m already set up for failure.

So once I’ve decided I want something, the next question to yourself must be:

“Can you make this change?”

Here I am asking myself:

  • Do I have the ability to make this change?
  • Do I have the necessary tools to make this change?
  • Do I have the time available to make this change?
  • Do I have the support I need to make this change?

I must be able to completely, unconditionally answer this question with a “Yes.” If I say “no”, then I dig deeper:

  • Why don’t I believe I can do this?
  • Is there something about the situation I can change so I can accomplish this?
  • Who can help me?
  • What sacrifices can I make, and what commitments can I break to make this goal feasible?

Regardless of whether other people think I can accomplish something or not, it’s important for me to believe I can.  If the answer to this question (“Can I?”) is yes, I then need to consider:

The Third Question:  Will You?

Will you make this change?”

This question sounds similar to the first, but I think of it as a question of my personal determination:

  • Am I willing to make the sacrifices needed to make this change?
  • Am I willing to work without encouragement or glory to make this change?
  • Am I willing to endure long enough to see results from this change?

If I have the personal determination to accomplish my goal and make the change, then there is only one thing left for me to consider:

The Fourth, and Final, Question: When?

The final question is:

“When will you make this change?

If I can answer the first three questions truthfully with a resounding yes, then there is only one logical answer to this final question:


If this change is something I want, something I can do, and something I will do – then there is no point in delaying it.  There is no point in putting it off until tomorrow – I must take steps today towards it.