Personal Development Roadblocks – “The Situation”

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.
I don’t believe in circumstances.
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.“
George Bernard Shaw

We are all capable of so much more than we accomplish, and often fall short of our potential.

One excuse I often hear (and sometimes make) is how we did the best we could, and then blame our failure on “the situation.” For example:

“It might have looked like I dropped the ball on that one, but I did the best I could – given the situation.”

Sometimes that is a real reason – but more often than not, it is a temporary obstacle that you need to get through. And today, I will show you how.

Making Excuses with “The Situation”

There are times when this blanket reason of “the situation” is legitimate. Perhaps physical constraints, disabilities, or absurdly difficult obstacles presented a “situation” that was impossible to overcome.

Often however, I have found that “the situation” is an excuse used to avoid confronting a difficult problem that has a difficult, uncomfortable or uncertain solution.

Rather than tackling the actual issue head on, we instead pretend there is no way to resolve some solvable problem, work around it and then say we “did our best, given the situation.”

We are not powerless. Every day we can decide to accept things that happen to us, or to confront issues and to change them.

Examples of “The Situation”

Below are a couple of common “situations” that hold us back.

I then will show you some possible real issues that are causing “the situation” – and the difficult solution or decision that needs to be made, but is being avoided.

There is not necessarily a right or wrong answer in each tradeoff.

Oftentimes, however, this exercise helps us realize that either a difficult change needs to take place, or perhaps sacrifices made – or else we won’t be able to accomplish what we set out to do.

“The Situation”	The Real Problem(s)	The Difficult Questions(s)
“I couldn’t stick to my diet – we went out for happy hour.”	Friends/occasions that are out of line with your fitness goals A diet that is too strict	How important is eating this way to me? How can I plan my social events to reach my nutrition goals?
“I haven’t been working on that – I’m too tired, since I haven’t been sleeping as much as I would like.	Poor time management Poor planning	Why am I staying up too late or getting up too early? How important is that project to me?

Five Steps For Beating “The Situation”

The above table discusses this through example, and here is a five step process for helping you make the difficult decisions you need to resolve “The Situation” –

Realize that nothing is non-negotiable. Everything in your life can be responded to and reacted to
Define “The Situation.” Write down the specific conflict that are causing your situation.
Define the real issue causes of this conflict.
Ask yourself the tough questions to resolve your conflict.
Answer the tough questions, and move on. Simmer in step 4 for a little while, consider your options and think through your individual situation. Once you’ve decided on a course of action, accept your answer and move forward.